Top Gear co host Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff has admitted that he partly wished that he had died following his horrific crash at the Top Gear test track in 2022.
The former cricketer was involved in a crash at the test track in December 2022, which left him with facial injuries and broken ribs.
Flintoff will address this accident in his upcoming Disney+ documentary titled Flintoff, which will also include graphic photos of the presenter's wounds, as well as commentary from an oral and maxillofacial surgeon who witnessed his injuries.
"After the accident I didn't think I had it in me to get through. This sounds awful … part of me wishes I’d been killed. Part of me thinks, I wish I’d died", Flintoff said. "I didn’t want to kill myself … I wouldn’t mistake the two things".
"I was not wishing, I was just thinking, 'this would have been so much easier’", he added. "Now I try to take the attitude that the sun will come up tomorrow and my kids will still give me a hug. I’m probably in a better place now".
On his recovery, Flintoff revealed what really hit him hard was the fact that his three year old son Preston "wouldn't come near me".
"I think it frightened him, my face, it frightened me. That was heartbreaking", he said. "I’ve got PTSD and I get anxious, for periods of time, I just find myself crying for no particular reason".
Flintoff also claimed that he relives this accident every night before he goes to sleep, saying it is like a "vivid" movie.
"Even the memories of it are real, to the point where now I’m talking about it and I’m getting a bit jittery and I can feel the pain on the side of my face", he explained. "I can feel like a phantom pain. It’s like a bit of a curse, really".
Andrew Flintoff added: "I thought I was dead because I was conscious but I couldn’t see anything. I was thinking ‘is that it?'".
He also spoke about feeling resentful about the word of entertainment he was involved in, comparing it to his injury ravaged cricket career.
"Everybody wants more. Everybody want to dig that bit deeper", he said.
He had previously promised that this documentary will set the record straight about "what actually happened". More on this here.
Flintoff will premiere on Disney+ in the UK and Ireland on April 25.
